Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
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Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Less talking, more tequila
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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