I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
