So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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