franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
