Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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