I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
