The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
