Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
