I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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