I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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