he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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