any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
