The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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