Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
