Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
