four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My dick has a subreddit
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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