Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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