Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
please come you make the beer taste better
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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