i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
