i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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