he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize