Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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