you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
