You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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