I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
