So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
