I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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