So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
