Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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