we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
