I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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