Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
