Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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