woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
