Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
