(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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