It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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