I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
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they call him Oral-B. enough said
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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