oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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