wrigley field is MILF paradise
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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