Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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