Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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