I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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