If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I want a musical about memes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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