Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
