im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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