you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
