I wannas sexs uuuuu
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
