For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
