she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
