ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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