well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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