Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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