that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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