Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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