great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
