Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
