Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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